The Secret Diary of .. Shane Reti

MONDAY
The Prime Minister calls, and asks why there was no doctor at Dargaville Hospital when a patient went into cardiac arrest last week.
I laugh, and ask him if he knows his way around the health system.
He laughs, too. The great thing about the Prime Minister is that he’s always able to see the funny side of things.
He says he doesn’t really know his way around the health system, but thought it was reasonable to expect that a doctor might be on the premises of a hospital when a patient goes into cardiac arrest.
I laugh, and explain to him that a nurse was on the premises at Dargaville Hospital, who was put through to a doctor via a videolink 40kms away.
He laughs, too. And then he asks, “But why is that funny?”
I laugh, and explain to him that our videolink services to doctors 40kms away are absolutely world-class.
“Nothing to worry about,” I tell him. “The whole thing is a storm in a teacup, just another typical media beat-up.”
“Well,” he laughs, “I wish they’d give me a break.”
I laugh, too. It’s so great working in government.
TUESDAY
The Prime Minister calls, and asks when we can expect more doctors and other medical staff at our hospitals.
I laugh, and tell him, “I know there’s lots of other pressures in the health care system. I’m not saying that the system is perfect by any stretch but what I am saying is that we understand that, and we are working incredibly hard to make sure that we put more staffing into our healthcare system. We have clear targets about what is actually expected from the system and we make sure we continue to grow our workforce.”
He laughs, and thanks me for such an open and informative answer.
WEDNESDAY
The Prime Minister calls, and asks when we can expect more doctors and other medical staff at our hospitals.
“Told you yesterday,” I laugh.               
“Yeah no but you know what it’s like, I have the media on my back wanting answers,” he laughs. “So I guess what I’m really asking is how the health system works so I can get a fix on things. I’d like to know my way around the health system.”
I laugh, and ask him, “How long’ve you got?”
He laughs, too. “Bullet points,” he says.
“I can do bullet points. The thing you need to know is that the health system is based on 12 levels of management. I’ll send you the 12 levels as 12 bullet points.”
“That sounds great.”
THURSDAY
The Prime Minister calls, and asks about the twelfth layer of management in our health system.
“Right,” I laugh. “Patients.”
He laughs, too. “But why are patients classified as a layer of management? Because aren’t they just, you know, patients?”
“Patients have a responsibility to take care of themselves and not place undue burden on an already overworked health care system,” I explain to him. “They need to make better decisions. They need to do more than just lie there and expect miracles. They need to manage the situation. Hence, management.”
He says that sounds perfectly reasonable, and thanks me for my time.
FRIDAY
The Prime Minister calls, and asks after the patient who went into cardiac arrest last week at Dargaville Hospital.
I inform him the patient died.
“Well,” he says after a long silence, “I know there’s lots of other pressures in the health care system. I’m not saying that the system is perfect by any stretch but what I am saying is that we understand that, and we are working incredibly hard to make sure that we put more staffing into our healthcare system. We have clear targets about what is actually expected from the system and we make sure we continue to grow our workforce.”
I wish him a good weekend, and we laugh about putting our feet up.